PMS so bad even my PC is broken!

I know I should be happy about having 12 months with no Aunt Flo, but really...

I have had PMS for almost a week now and cramps that aren't awful but are so annoying since Saturday. I actually spent most of the weekend in bed instead of at Christine's playing with my friends.

I'm crampy, my back hurts, my nipples are shredded, I'm crabby and tired. boo hoo poor me

Mostly, I just wish AF would get here so I wouldn't' have to wonder how long this will last. With Chloe, she just showed up without warning.

I think the PMS has now transferred to my work PC as I had to manually power down the darn thing about 15 times. I'm about ready to chuck the darn thing (not good since I work in IT).

I did get a Diva cup and some cloth pads last night so at least I'm ready. Are you listening Aunt Flo? Open the floodgate already!

Happy First Birthday Benjamin

Benjamin, in the Bible, was the last son of Rachel and Jacob. Rachel died giving birth to him and Benjamin means 'son of my pain'. Besides Joseph, he was the favored son of Jacob as Rachel was his favored wife.

Ironically, Benjamin is the son of my joy, the son of my spirit. If I could give a meaning to his name, it would be Hallelujah! (with the exclamation point).

Benjamin, you are a truly loved boy. Your smile brings happiness and you are adored by everyone you meet. You are a beloved son and brother. Your sister truly enjoys you and I enjoy the dynamic you've brought to our family.

Happy Birthday to my sweet man, to Chloe's Mr. Beefy and Daddy's pride and joy. You have shown me just how much love my heart can hold.

I want to live in Ralph's World

Yesterday, we saw Ralph's World at Blueberry Hill. It's a wonderful small venue.

He was every bit as kind as I hoped. More actually. He was so happy to see all the kids, sign autographs and talk to parents. AFter the show, he was in the audience before we had hardly moved. I wonder when he used the bathroom? Perhaps he has a parent's bladder (you know the one that lets you go all day without 'going')?

Chloe had a great time even though she was more mellow than some of the kids. It's funny that she's so animated most of the time but in those situations the chaos almost calms her. She was great with Ralph, told him her favorite Ralph song and let him pick her up for a hug and a picture.

I'm so glad we went and we'll be looking for him to come back to St Louis.

Feeling my own mortality today

My mom called this morning to tell me that Laura, a friend and co-worker, died in her sleep last night. My family has their own business so my mom's work friends are her friends for the most part. They had worked together for at least 10 years and mom thought a lot of her.

Laura left behind a husband and two young daughters. She wasn't sick and was feeling fine yesterday. Her husband woke to hear the baby crying and tried to wake her. She was already gone.

I feel such grief for this family. I cannot imagine the phenomenal impact her death must have. It would be like if I was gone tomorrow.

I'm going to go home and love on my family today.

Lots of plans for the weekend

On Saturday our nanny, Jessica, will be doing roller derby so we'll swing by and catch some of that. I was hoping to have Chloe's new skull and crossbones hair bows but it doesn't look like they'll be here in time.

Arch Rival Roller Girls

On Sunday we're going to see Ralph Covert of Ralph's World fame perform at Blueberry Hill. I'm really excited and hoping we can meet him and get pictures.

Ralph's World

Otherwise, I'm pretty wiped out. Chloe was having some sleep issues during the early part of the week and now that they're lined out, Benjamin is having sleep issues from teething. His amber necklace broke but I managed to get it back together. One whole day without it really made a big difference. Benjamin doesn't fuss much so when he does you know he means business.

I'll never forget 9/11

I was having a similar day in a different time. I was working at my desk like I am now, but seven years ago I had no husband and no children. I was barely 21 but very much still a child myself. 9/11 not only brought about full adulthood but also brought me back to my Christian faith.

I had never felt fear like I did that day and I literally fell out of my chair to my knees and prayed to God.

I find it sad, but not surprising, that there's not more coverage on the anniversary today.

God bless the victim's families, especially those who were never really found.

Kids look bigger in fall clothes

Well, fall is coming and that means it's time to get out the warmer clothes. Chloe spent the summer in underpants, shorts and t-shirts, and sundresses. Benjamin spent most of the summer in his diaper.

I was excited to get Chloe's things out because I had been collecting from clearance racks, friends, and garage sales for two years now. Seeing these clothes again was fun.

Now that the kids are in them, they look, well too old. Much older than being on the verge of 1 and 4. The jeans look impossibly long for Chloe but fit her perfectly. And clothes on Benjamin make him look like a boy and not my sweet little baby.

And while I hear Chloe talking non-stop, I almost missed Benjamin's words: hi, bye, ball, dad. He talks in gurgles, grunts, and this funny bubble type voice.

As much as I love watching my kids grow up, expand their minds and face new challenges, seeing them get older before I'm ready breaks my heart a little.

Overheard in the Hickman house

Chloe looking at herself in the mirror (our closet doors are mirrors) "why you look fancy today Chloe!"

Chloe and Daddy

Chloe: What are those
Daddy: My balls
Chloe: Can I touch them?
Daddy: No

Chloe to me: You need to kiss Daddy because you're falling in love, remember?

from my husband: what does having your period have to do with fertility (in a convo about the third daughter we are to have...)

Yea for hot water

The new part came, it works and we have hot water. Too bad this week has worn me out so much I can barely think about the dishes that have been sitting all week. Not the mention the countless McD meals we've eaten trying to avoid dishes. This family will be loading up on fruits and veggies stat!

I had a great night with the kids. We hit Babies R Us where I rocked the sling and got lots of questions about it (take that, over priced strollers!) for some baby/eco friendly diapers then off to Costco for some much needed groceries.

Chloe is such a cool kid. She's funny and kind, smart and resourceful, clever and witty. She is in love with babies and would shout "Hey, can I touch your baby!" at anyone who passed by with an infant. I guess babies, like toys, are more fun when they are not yours. That's not to say she doesn't love Benjamin b/c she's such a great big sister.

I really need to pray more often for patience. A little extra effort on my part really brings out the best in my daughter, and myself.

But I'm the judgemental one...

I am a Christian. I am not ashamed of that. I believe in God, Jesus, redemption, salvation and faith. I believe in the Bible.

I do not judge you if you don't believe. I don't hate you. I don't say you're going to hell. I love you and try to be your friend. I might even pray for you (whether you've asked or not). If you have questions about my faith, I will answer them. I'll admit to not knowing an answer and will try and find it.

So do you not see the irony in saying I'm judging you simply because I believe. If my beliefs offend you so much just by me verbalizing them, perhaps you should ask yourself why. Then get back to me with any questions because I'll still love you.

I will not, however, be a doormat for you to wipe off your guilt and doubt.

Sarah Palin rocks my socks

She's conservative, she has family values, she loves her husband, she breastfeeds and slings her kids... dare to dream?

Yeah rag on her about things her relatives have done and her daughter being pregnant but she's pretty great.

While I planned to vote for McCain, I wasn't excited, but now I am.

I feel like I can relate to her, like I could sit and discuss things with her, like she understands me.

Gripes for the day... sigh...

So the fabulous new part for our water heater almost works. Some adapter piece doesn't fit making the whole thing useless. They're sending a new adapter but it won't be here until tomorrow. I guess it's back to the YMCA for our bathing needs.

Not only that, but they charged for $32 for the shipping they said would cost $3 AND it came out of my husband's account which is only a holding tank for his reimbursements with a few extra dollars to spare. They're giving it back; now I just hope we don't get an overdraft fee.

Now, Verizon is telling me we can't switch out plan from wireless Internet to a cell phone. On Tuesday they said they could and not they say they can't? I have to wait until 11am our time so I can call Tele Sales. This should be fun.

You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal

Well, you can at least do the first part at our local YMCA. Our water heater went out Saturday night I'm guessing but we didn't notice until Sunday. After some Internet research, I found the part that needed to be replaced and headed to Lowe's. Well, that was a no go so I waited until Monday and called the company who manufactured said water heater.

Well, we apparently need a part from them which they are sending free of charge. However, Monday was Labor Day so it didn't' ship until Tuesday meaning well have it today. Yes, about 5 days later.

Luckily, I managed to snag the last of the hot water bathing on Sunday but by Tuesday, I was funky. My options at that point were 1) take cold shower; not easy with infant who I frequently bathe with 2) drive to friend's house but they all live at least 25 minutes away and have their own family chaos to deal with 3) drive to YMCA and shower there like homeless family.

Actually, our YMCA has a really nice family bathroom where I can lock us all in, wash myself, wash kids and it's setup that he whole room can get wet and it's no big deal. It even has a nice changing table where I put our dry clothes, towels, etc

So, there you have it. We're clean and we don't smell.